Today, her mind was empty and she is empty. With the rain heavily pouring outside the church is a pain she feels inside her chest. Her heart was heavy the reason she couldn’t breathe normally.
Until someone called her name, as if whispering through her ear. She looked behind her and saw her father voluntarily reaching his hand to get her. She breathes deeply, but like her heart, it comes out heavy. She wiped away all her undesirable thoughts, holds her father’s hand and gathers all the guts to stand up.
As she walks down the aisle, she noticed that all eyes are on her. She felt uneasy. She thinks that maybe it is better to run away than to face everything at all. But still, she continue to walk until she reached the altar and her father released his hand off her.
Again, she felt the emptiness inside her mind and body.
Looking at the face of the man beside her, wearing a classy black coat with tie, the memories are returning again – fresh and clear, as if it happened yesterday. Together with the heavy rainfall, her eyes are starting to get blurred out of her warm tears.
She suddenly remembers everything:
From how he answers her call despite of his busy work and schedule, he always finds a way for her. He fetch her up every night, every time in every place. Though he knew that she’s from different houses, apartments or condominiums of different guy — drunk, exhausted and out of her mind. Still, he fetch her just to be home, safe and sound.
Even though he literally see her running towards any other guy’s car, at the end of the day, he’s always ready to fetch her.
He’s always been the good guy and she’s always been the opposite, the crazy bitchy bad girl.
He thought that he was her star — but no. He’s just falling; no one dares to catch him because he’s far from being called as someone’s own star. He’s always in the right time, but hesitates to grab it knowing that she’s having a good time with the other guy.
He is tough but dumb.
She is weak but bright.
Until that night, while she’s with a guy she thinks can make her happy, an unlikely event happened.
She didn’t know what to do, the guy beside her was strong than her so-called self’s strength. But like the usual day — at the end of the night, he was there — standing like a knight without his shining armor.
Knights are always ready to conquer hurdles but not sure if they can surpass it.
As her knight without his shining armor – he fought for her; he gave his all, his best and even his life.
On that same day, he died.
Today, as she looks at the face of the man beside her, lying in his coffin wearing a classy black coat with tie, the memories are returning again – fresh and clear, as if it happened yesterday. Tears started to stream down her face.
“Sorry”, the very first wors ahe uttered. “You’re always there for me but I always gives you pain”, she wanted to hug him but she control herself from drenching that precious box,”sorry … sorry …”
The truth is, he is drowning on the past years he protected her. He is drowning for letting himself stay in the ocean he built for her. But as a man, he let himself be taken by his imaginary water and let himself drowned.
“Please … if you ever see me from where you are right now, don’t ever cry for me. Just please don’t let yourself cry again because of me … please …”
As she pleaded, the rain stopped.
She looked at the window and saw the small beam of light coming from the sun, she turned at him again “Thank you. From now on, let me … cry for you …”
Then she felt the hand of her father in her back, “It’s time”, he said.
It is time for her to let go of him. It is time for him to rest … forever.